Valentine’s Day is arguably one of the most difficult holidays to endure…if you have a date. Sure, facing the holiday solo isn’t exactly ideal, but shopping for your significant other (no matter how significant they may be) is never an easy feat.

Women instinctually judge new mates in order to determine if they’ll make a suitable long-term partner. For some, a bad V-day present can shatter any hope of a relationship escalating to the next level. And, for some odd reason, men are under the impression that women are happy to receive just about anything for Valentine’s Day. So, if you don’t want to end up on the top of any femme’s shit list this Hallmark holiday, keep reading:

Don’t: Bouquet of Red Roses
Do: Custom Floral or Plant Arrangement
Despite what you may have heard, most women don’t care for red roses. In fact, they typically find them mundane and cliché. So why not consider choosing a less traditional shade? Purple roses signify having fallen in love at first sight, while coral signals desire. Better yet, create a customized arrangement of exotic flowers. Fine NYC floral shops like Bloom and Polux Fleuriste specialize in elegant, exotic bouquets. And such a gesture is sure to impress. We recommend opting for an orchid from the former (ideal for those with somewhat of a green thumb), or a custom bouquet from the latter (ask for Paris-bred shop owner Anouchka Levy’s advice and there’s no going wrong).
*Also check out Aedes Floral Giftwrap, which uses real flowers for its high-end wrapping paper.
Polux Fleuriste, 248 Mott Street, (212) 219-9646

Don’t: Victoria's Secret
Do: Unique Lingerie
While Agent Provocateur and Kiki de Montparnasse may be at the top of many women’s wish lists when it comes to lingerie, their provocative styles aren’t for everyone. So, if you’re in need of a selection, why not check out Union Square’s newly opened boutique Journelle? The beautifully decorated shape boasts nearly a dozen different designers; not to mention, if you stop by Tuesday, February 12th from 8-10pm they’ll quench your thirst with bourbon and beer while they help you find the perfect bra/panty set. Other lingerie options of note include Letters of Marque—designed by Stacey Dash of Clueless fame (she played Dee)—and The Lake & Stars—a luxury lingerie line that’s as beautiful as its designers, Nikki Dekker and Maayan Ziberman.

Don’t: Stuffed Animals
Do: Adopt-a-Lovebird
Stuffed animals are for seven-year-olds, not adult Valentine's Day gifts. If you are considering gifting a creature, it better be the breathing variety (and one that your giftee is prepared to care for). So, how about adopting a pair of real, live lovebirds? This vibrant and colorful species of parrot is famous for its social and affectionate nature. In French their name, “les inseparables” (“inseparables”), describes their caring character. Many believe lovebirds should always have a companion; otherwise they become heartbroken. Not a bad symbolic gift for a serious sweetheart.

Don’t: Generic Jewelry
Do: Unique Jewelry
Women can spot cheap jewels from a mile away. So, unless you’re ready to drop some major cash, opting for a piece from an independent designer is a much cooler choice. Besides, receiving anything wrapped in baby blue Tiffany box is boring and obvious. Not sure where to look? Check out downtown-based designers Christine J. Brandt and Enrique Muthuan. The former specializes in beautiful, handcrafted wood and gemstone accessories, while the latter, discovered selling on Prince and Mercer now has a workshop in his native Argentina where he creates his handmade, unisex pieces. Or, try something equally unique from Williamsburg’s Lisa Levine, whose Southwestern-style pieces and silk-and-gold-wrapped necklaces are sure to put a smile on any girl’s face. Plus, you’ll score major points for originality.

Don't: Book a Massage for One
Do: Book a Couples' Massage
Sending your sweetie off for a luxurious, relaxing rubdown is no doubt a fantastic gift. But, if you want to do something truly original, why not book a couples’ massage for you both? At Manhattan’s Brigitte Mansfield European Day Spa you can book a couples massage, which also includes individual treatments (reflexology or scalp massage for the men, and a manicure for women). Or, if you’re more the wine-before-you-wind-down type, make an appointment at the Delluva Vinotherapy Day Spa. This Tribeca-based spa utilizes skin care products and treatments derived from the by-products of grapes and winemaking process. To boot, you can sip on the real stuff while indulging in waxing, facials and massage, including one specifically for couples.
*Brigitte Mansfield European Day Spa, 37 Union Square West, (212) 366-0706

Don’t: Pre-packaged Candies
Do: Gourmet/Customized Chocolates
If you're looking to please the palate of your chocoholic lover this Valentine's, a standard box of grocery-store chocolates won't do. Instead, step outside the heart-shaped box, literally, to explore some of the more luxurious options available for this holiday's sweetest gift. For the truly decadent, Debauve & Gallais, the official chocolatier of the French Royal court in the 1800s, meticulously arrange each set of L'Amour Royale Collection. While Meduri World Delights offers boxed tins of mouth-watering, chocolate-covered dried fruits from orchards around the world (from Chinese Yantai peaches and Chilean red raspberries, to Scandinavian lingonberries), John & Kira's offers a more adorable option of hand-crafted "Valentine Lovebugs"– ladybug and bee-shaped, dark chocolates in mint, raspberry, and honey-lavender, packed into special wooden gift boxes. Or simply opt for a customized bag of M&M's adorned with a personalized message.

~Joanna Kunze