We all have our dirty little secrets. Whether it be from your mother, spouse, maid, or just a good old-fashioned thief, we all have a little something to hide– especially when it comes to valuables. Since statistics show that the average burglar spends less than eight minutes inside a victim’s home, by taking a little more effort to conceal your valuables, the odds are that intruders will leave without the really good stuff.

To that end, psychoPEDIA has put together a list of quirky yet effective hiding spots for every situation that will deter, or, at the very least, prevent immediate detection of your valuable possessions to ensure that your secrets go undiscovered:

Office: Stash Card ($9.95)
The stash card is an ingenious device that utilizes the hiding niche inside your computer’s card reader. Ideal for that memory card with risqué photos or maybe that little pick-me-up your co-workers don’t know about. Whatever it may be, this is sure to keep nosey colleagues at bay.

Beach: Reef Stash ($45.95)
Everyone worries about having belongings stolen while vacationing at the beach, so the Reef Stash Series will relieve that stress. These flip-flops feature a small compartment for stashing your essentials like keys and cash-– perfect for when wearing your teeny-bikini or when you don’t feel like lugging a bag. Unfortunately for men, the stash line is currently only available for the ladies.

Everyday: Water Bottle Safe ($19.99)
While this water bottle appears to be completely mundane–- and weighted to feel perfectly real– the hidden chamber beneath, accessed by unscrewing the bottom, is a great hiding spot for home or on-the-go. But don’t forget the liquid rule, as you won’t be able get this one through security at the airport!

Kitchen: Lettuce Diversion ($15.90)
This head of iceberg was developed with the philosophy that the best place to hide something is in plain view, and what could be more obvious thing than the head of lettuce in your fridge? The flawlessly-constructed lettuce head doesn’t leave so much as a seam when it comes to looking real, making your only concern that your vegetarian sister will try to make it into a dinner salad.

Home: Secret Outlet ($14.99)
This outlet seems like a tool straight out of a James Bond flick, as no one would ever look twice at it. The decoy outlet safe comes with an installation kit so it can be installed directly into your wall, no different than the real thing. And for added security and authenticity, it also comes with a screw lock. With such secrecy, even the FBI would overlook this safe.

Yard: Sprinkler Hide-A-Key ($6.99)
Everyone is on to the old “hide the key under the welcome mat” trick, so this gadget steps it up a notch. A great item for anyone lucky enough to have a yard, while this nifty water sprinkler head won’t nurture your plants, it’s a great spot for your spare key– providing a solution for getting locked out or for when someone needs to get into your home while you’re not around.

Toolbox/Garage: Hammer Flask ($16.99)
Perhaps an item made for the stressed construction worker or functional alcoholic, this hammer flask will have you looking like you’re working when you’re really taking a much-needed break. Now you won’t have to wait for happy hour, and instead start hitting the bottle while you’re on the job. Simply pour your poison-of-choice into the handle and enjoy at your leisure.

Travel: Brief Safe ($14.99)
These unpleasant undies are sure to instantly deter prying eyes or sticky fingers. These fake skid-marked briefs contain a fly-accessed 4”x10” secret compartment with a Velcro closure, the perfect spot for your passport or other important travel documents. While you can leave them in a laundry hamper or underwear drawer, just hope that your mother (or maid) doesn't try to do you a favor and wash them!

~Joanna Kunze