Though the U.S. economy is careening like a drunk on roller skates, the skyrocketing costs of city living are only going up. Add the presumed threat of Happy Hours cutting back to mere minutes a day, and one can imagine the trend of ever-skinnier jeans becoming a reality for all Americans, not just the select few. As we are forced to reach deeper into our wallets to get by these days, perhaps no group has been impacted more than true bohemians attempting to wring truth and beauty out of the human plight. Certainly a virtuous pursuit, but one that often doesn’t pay the bills.

With that in mind, it may be time to consider alternative methods of augmenting income without completely abandoning otherwise high-minded goals. Though it’s far from a perfect solution, at the end of the day, it feels good to define yourself as the thing you do-– photographer, author, painter, musician, actor-– without having to qualify it first. Fortunately, there are options out there for the artistic soul looking to make a wage:

If all acting work was Shakespearian in nature, our country would be a more intelligent place-– but we’d also be robbed of the unquantifiable talents of the Ashton Kutchers and Jessica Albas of the world. That being said, a bona fide thespian understands that the key to lasting success is the ability to make a role, no matter how insignificant, your own. Though as evidenced above, a little serendipity never hurts. Extra work is one way to get noticed by those behind the camera, while offering a glimpse into the nuts and bolts of the business. Sites such as Moviex and Mandy list open calls throughout the industry.

Maybe that facial tattoo wasn’t such a great idea after all, but there’s no sense regretting, especially if you've got a voice like James Earl Jones. While you’re saving money for the laser surgery to restore your good looks, there’s no reason you can’t practice your theatrics in front of a microphone instead. By enlisting your storytelling skills to create audio books, you’ll be creating alternative educational materials to serve the greater good. Recorded Books encourages individuals with a flair for the dramatic to submit an audition.

If critiquing the world through use of obtuse metaphors dished in rhyming couplets is your birthright, consider fueling your habit with paid focus group-work. These 1-2 hour sessions are a lucrative way to dispense your opinions to the masses with little fear of reproach. Companies like Great Opinions and Focus Room provide online forms to get you started and will contact you if they think you fit their target demographic. You may even become the next Gene Shalit.

Great writing has the power to hint at the universal, but someone needs to read it first. If you want throngs of adoring fans to swoon over your every word, try out a little coitus literati. Sex sells and you needn’t be afraid of sullying your nonexistent reputation. Nerve is one of the rare places on the Web that handles the nexus between smut and literature eloquently. With their expanding roster of established authors, you might be surprised by who you’ll find there.

Once the sun goes down, you spend your time skirting along the back alleyways and streets searching for the perfect wall to serve as your canvas, but hopping over one too many chain link fences while outrunning the cops is getting almost as old as you are. Not only is converting your clandestine operations to the light of day easier on your constitution, but it also transforms graffiti into mural painting. Signing up with the New York Foundation for the Arts is a good place to start.

The Modern Art world might favor technology over classical expression and gimmick over craft, but few things remains as evocative as the human form. If you’re unable to afford an art school education, then exposing yourself for cash might be the next best thing. Figure modeling at one of the New York art colleges-– SVA, FIT, Parsons-- is an excellent way to learn from afar. And if you’re lucky, the instructor might let you sit in on the rest of the class once your session is over.

Your band keeps breaking up and you don’t know how to play an instrument anyway, but why should that stop you from entering the entertainment ranks? With the right equipment and a passable singing voice there’s no reason you can’t be a party waiting to happen. Becoming a professional karaoke singer is your ticket to one big open bar and all you have to do is warble some Neil Diamond tunes when things start getting dull. Before striking out on your own, get a taste of the amateur circuit at Spotlight Live in Times Square. Sure it might be one step below being a wedding singer, but think of all the practice you’ll be getting for the next time American Idol comes to town.

~Scott Lachut