Television is filled with God awful music shows featuring bands "on the cusp of stardom" and pop stars that are two rehab steps away from obscurity. That's why it's refreshing when out of the rubbish comes an artist that sounds like a carnival for gypsies who have just discovered how to cast Voodoo spells on teenage virgins. Her name is Ebony Bones-– a young woman who gyrates across the stage in outfits that look like a rainbow having sex with a bag of Skittles. This London-based former soap star, turned pop-punk artist, apparently made mega-producer Timbaland “jump out of his seat,” and has been described as a “pop-superheroine” by the Times.

psychoPEDIA joined the artist, who will be hitting several European music festivals this summer (including a sold-out show with legendary Grace Jones), and posed some intimate questions about life, love, and Bill Cosby:

It says on the Internet you used to be on a soap opera?
Yes, I was–- The Cosby Show.

What made you leave?
I left, because I had a few issues with Bill...

Why did you decide to form a rock group?
I tried to get a job at TJ Maxx [a discount clothing chain], but they refused my CV. Without that hefty dose of failure, Ebony Bones would have never happened.

Where did the name come from?
Ebony is the name I was born with. Bones is after my favorite D.C. comic character Mr. Bones. He was an experiment by an insane gynecologist. Bones is an African-American with transparent skin who chain-smokes and speaks entirely in rhyme. He used to rob people off the streets to make money. Inspirational stuff.

Do you find it hard to be a black singer when most people in your genre are white?
Hold up…I'm black?

I heard you are a strict diva type who throws tantrums when you don’t get your way?
Someone really said that? That’s it, he's out!

How do you describe your sound?
Like Cleopatra reincarnated in search of a KFC.

What do you love about the industry?
Producing and writing my own tracks, playing my own instruments, and dancing to them on stage like a 5- year-old.

Speaking of, do you worry about keeping your look together with the jumping and sweating onstage?
Yes, my hair and sweat usually equals a scary looking Afro.

Strangest thing that’s happened to you while performing?
I was once snogged by Grace Jones.

What do you hate about the industry?
Lazy journalism.

Who’s the last person you wanted to punch in the face?
A traffic warden at precisely two minutes to nine o’clock today.

Can you remember your first kiss?
All I remember was that I was young, and I needed the money.

Do you enjoy kissing girls, or would you rather just skip the foreplay and get to the sex?
Seriously, who have you been talking to?

What makes someone a good kisser?
I wouldn't know, really – I’m more of a biter.

Do you use like use your hands a lot, or are you a hands-in-pockets kind of gal?
I jam my teeth in their necks then fly off into the moonlight.

How do you think your technique has improved over the years?
I was that child, forever biting the boys in the playground that I secretly liked. Sigh. Some things never change.

Who's a famous person that you think would be a good kisser?
Arnold from Diff'rent Strokes. Just so I can say “I kissed a black midget.” And I always liked Mikey from The Goonies. Until I saw his character in Lord of the Rings, that is.

Do you think having big lips automatically makes you better at it?
It definitely helps!

Do you close your eyes or keep them open?
I keep them open, so I can look out for traffic wardens. Can you tell if someone is good at sex by the way they kiss? I don’t know, actually. You'll have to read “The Ebony Bones Guide to Kissing Randoms,” out soon with the album.

~Donald Crunk @ Styleslut