Dear PsychoDoc: I’ve always been quite insecure in my relationships. I don’t know why, but I just get the impression that my boyfriends find other women more attractive than me. Despite this, I always thought that my current dude was different. I’ve been with him for about 3 months now and I thought everything was going well, until I cracked the password to his computer. I looked through his e-mails and found out that he’d been mailing other women saying that he wasn’t sure if I was his’ type’ and that he doesn’t normally go for girls like me. I also found pictures of women on his hard drive who looked nothing like me. I’m a thick black woman and his computer was full of skinny white chicks! Now I feel more insecure than ever. I mean, would he rather be with a girl that looks like the ones all up on his laptop?
-Coco, NYC, 23-

Dear Thick and Pretty: OK, I’m gonna totally be honest with you, and this is far from a sweeping generalisation -- but all black guys have a thing for white girls. Remember how Clark Kent got around Kryptonite? It’s kind of like that.

Although, I really wouldn’t worry too much about the chicks on his hard drive. I’m sure you’ve got a couple of guys that look nothing like him on yours, right? Fantasy is cool -- nobody likes just one type of body shape, hairstyle, eyes etc. He’s with you and you said everything is going swell, so just give him the benefit of the doubt. Try and leave behind your past insecurities and concentrate on your current relationship. Maybe you guys could play dress up and you could actually pretend to be Marilyn Monroe or some other famous white girl? All it takes is a wig. That way he gets to fulfill his ‘Caucasian quota’ and you get to sleep peacefully because you know your man’s not on Facebook looking for a lonely white girl to bang.

Oh, and that stuff about you not being ‘his type’ doesn’t mean shit. We’ve all got with someone who wasn’t our ‘usual type’ before. Being ‘a type’ doesn’t make a relationship; it’s the way you connect after that. So, if you don’t already know what makes him tick (hobbies etc), then put aside some time to communicate and spend quality time together to find that out, instead of working out ways to hack into his shiny new laptop.

PsychoDoc is written by Donald Crunk, also known as Styleslut. He is not a medically-trained doctor or shrink, but is a highly-trained professional in life. He can be reached at psychodoc@psychopedia.com.

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